New York Vacation Day 1-2

OMG  I Love this city!


So my friend Duggan and I arrive at the airport and find out my suitcase is 18lbs OVER weight...so $50 later we are gambling in the airport...needed to win that $50 back! LOL lucky for me I did.


So I go get in line for the plane and tell Duggan they are boarding...no Duggan after a few mins. So I start calling frantically...finally he calls and says he is on the plane, I say no I'm on the plane...he says raise your hand, then goes I'm on the wrong plane! LMAO a few mins later we find that somehow he did not book the same flight as me.  I'm on my way to Baltimore and he is off to Chicago!


Needless to say I got to Newark before him and chilled for like an hour.


However we made it, our car picked us up and we were off!


I LOVE my apartment.  Its just like the pics and its so cute.  I love having all this space as opposed to a small hotel room.


Duggan and I went in search of food and groceries.  We found both.  Horrible Cafe and even worse grocery store! However it did the job it needed to and we came back to the apt. I basically spent the rest of night 1 unpacking.  Duggan did the same and we both crashed.


LOL at 3a the next morning I here my roommate in his room moving around and he never goes back to sleep! However me being me just slept on and off till about 8a.


Day 2 was way more fun.  After we finally left the house, I'm slow I know, we went into the city in rip off cab.   The driver gives one price and the company another.  LOL but they hadn't met Duggan and we got the lower price. 


We went to the giganormous Macy's so Duggan could get these Madonna Truth or Dare Fragrance packages. However that also meant we got to go see Madonna at a meet and greet later.


Then it was off to some Broadway box offices for Duggan and we ended up spending way too much time at the Nick Jonas one.  If you know me you know the big haired boys do not impress me, but my kids like them and I love to torture them.  So in the end I got some great pics of him and and autograph for one of the children.


We later met up w/Duggan's friend and daughter for a quick bit to eat and then took the bus back to Jersey.


LOL I needed to change....so we were late!




Back to Macy's to get some items that were not in Duggan's bag and then it was a cluster of running through Macy's trying to find a floor that did not exist.  They suck at giving directions there.  15 mins late for Madonna and we are in the tent.  45 mins later and she finally shows up.


She was interesting and funny so in the end I was glad to be there.


Duggan and I parted ways so I could go see my lovely friend Vivian Sessoms ate the Darby.


U love that place its just so cute and everyone really seems to enjoy the band.  I got there for the last 3 sets so I was happy.


Finally after grabbing Duggan the 3 of us headed back to Jersey and grabbed some food at a diner 5000 times better the one we went to the day before.  LOL we were in there for quite some time while they talked.  Apparently I need to see more movies.


After an amazing night and a stop at 2 of the most amazing views of NY I have ever seen we got home at about 3a.  LOL now at almost noon i need to start my day....or take a nap...it could go either way!

I Love Vacations!

I'm always ancy the night before a trip...so today is no different.


Plane leaves in less than 12h and I'm awake.


Well thats mainly because my cough syrup has yet to kick in.  As is happens I Finally (not in a good way either) got asthmatic bronchitis this season. Of course it decides to hit Monday at work and get progressively worse! However I spent 5h in the ER and the pharmacy combined yesterday to get steroids, narcotic cough syrup and breathing treatments. 


The good part is I can still go, its was touch a go for a min there!


So plans are still moving along.


Tomorrow is all about Carolina Liar. By the time we land, drive to Abby's job and get a key, drive back to Abby's house we will literally start the primping process for the night. Duggan is going with us so its a Roof Top Benefit concert and I cannot WAIT!!! 
As it so happens Elvis Monroe is playing a show at the Hard Rock at 10 so after the boys are done we are going to scoot over there for some more live music!


Friday I'm hoping to meet up with Sue & Angela for breakfast, then we grab Duggan and off to Universal Studios :-)


Saturday is lounging in the morning then heading to Tev's for some massages...woohoo!!! Then we are driving to SD where we will stay till Monday morning.  While there we will play tourist, go wine tasting, you know fun stuff like that :-)


Monday its back to Universal and hopefully I get to go to DWTS and meet the hot Cuban William Levy.  Didn't know who he was a week ago, but DAMN I do now!!!


Tues we are on a plan to San Jose to see the boys open for Kelly Clarkson and sell some merch :-)


Sadly we are back on Wed, but I only have 8 working days left till NY!!! 14 days total and I could not be more excited...I have lots to do!!


LOL starting with sleep...hoping this cough syrup that supposed to put me to sleep kick in soon, but its not looking good...look for post and/or pic here or on FB/Twitter!


See ya in CA!

Just after 2a

I should be sleep!

Instead I am typing with no real purpose :-) I leave for LA in 3 days. My schedule is...

Arrive Thursday
Thursday Night going to the Dress for Success event to see my guys Carolina Liar perform
Friday is Universal Studios!
Sat still open
Sunday driving to SD to visit Wilson Creek Winery, my sister and then hit the sights of the city before retiring to Pechanga for the night.
Monday hit the road about 6a to get Abby to work on time then back to Universal Studios!
Tues on a plane to San Jose
Tues night going to see Kelly Clarkson only because Carolina Liar is opening for them!!!
Wed fly home and got straight to the Chiropractor!
Then I have 8 work days left before I start vacation and head to NY for 6 amazing weeks

All in all life is pretty good :-)

There went Feb

Remember when was saying how long it was taking for July to come? We are days away from March and even closer to my move!

So we left off at me moving in w/the 'rents. It's been interesting, I haven't really been here much which is most likely helping. I'm sharing a room w/my homeless because she is a knucklehead younger daughter.  LOL she found out what roommates are really like.  However it going well.  Not too much to get used to just going day by day.

A few days after the accident complications started and yay I'm in PT a few times a week...good stuff!

I bought a car, well had to really.  I'm in MORE debt another 5 years all because someone else thought they could beat traffic, what is wrong with people!

Part plans are moving ahead! So excited to have all the people I love in one location and celebrate this milestone in my life.  LOL but I',m ready for the road trip and to be on my way!

Work is work..not so much fun anymore, but I think thats because my mind is already on a different coast.

On another note by boys are doing 2 shows! One in LA and one here in Vegas.  March & April will be all about the Liars!  They did a great live broadcast on Saturday!  Check it out, might hear someone you know of on there :-)  LOL and you thought I was addicted to my BB! Umm Johan! http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/20533540

Hmm, thats about it...operation East Coast is moving ahead.  It was slightly derailed by a car, but its back on track :-)

Move Number 1

Its the day before I move in with my parents for the first time in over 5 years...wow its gonna be strange.

I have my belongs down to about 20ish boxes which is more than i wanted but it will work.

I have let my bosses know I play to leave in July and everything is place for NY.

I have planned the most amazing going away party w/some of my most amazing friends.  LOL its a weekend event full of fun, food and drinks!

It's all bittersweet but exciting.

I am learning a few things about me that are going to change my life and the way I live it, but I'm going to live it like tomorrow is a gift not a right.

I was in an accident on Friday, my car is a lose, but you know what? Once the pain goes away and the car is replaced my life is going to continue on the same path...wish me luck...East Coast I'm coming for you!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like moving

So today I started to tackle to process of clearing up my life.  Two words....PACK RAT! Holly hell I have a lot of crap that I have yet to see in years.  Biggest find, all my blank checks I thought I had used, now I don't have to order more!

I went back and read my 10 boxes post and I will admit its just not logical.  I already have 2 boxes going!  Each box will contain specific items and if I cant get them in that box then they don't go.  I am being real selective about what can and can't go.  I'm thinking that renting a car and trailer may not be a bad idea.  I think everything will fit in a small trailer since I am not taking any furniture.

I sent my lovely friend viv and email with dates and info and she has offered to help me out in finding a place for the long term and the short term.  Thank goodness cause i have no idea where anything is.

I am going to talk tot he apt on Sunday and let them know I am leaving and work out a plan to get all my penalties taken care of.

Then I will be moving in with the rents in Feb and the process of saving money begins.  Feb will be a difficult month because I will be paying double rent, but once March comes around the saving will begin and life becomes a bit easier.

I'm going to start selling and donating items.  The money from that will go toward winter clothes, LOL because i am ill prepared!

I'm going to ask as a going away gift my friends get me gift cards, LOL because all i ma taking furniture wise is an air mattress.

Guess what! This is the most exciting nerve racking time in my life.  A new chapter is beginning and I can not wait to start reading.

An Emotional Night

Today started out OK, I was running late for work, so the normal.

However the problem I have been having lately is that my entire body hurts from being tired.  No matter how early I get to bed or how much I sleep my body is still tired.  A part of me was worried.

I had my office Christmas party today, but to keep this a happy post I won't even talk about it.

So after that I was really in a bad mood and didn't want to go out.  However it was gonna be girls night.  So we went to see Mission Impossible, again for me and Jen. Yup still love it!

After that we ended up at Numb, where things just go down hill.

Now Numb has brought me some great friends. However it does not have a good record for men. Jay was there and he left under, well we still don't know the circumstances.  Jaime just didn't wake up one day and now Ray is moving his family back to CA.  I understand his reasoning's and its gonna be good for his family.  However due to his home situation I know that I will most likely never see or here from him again. It sucks when you have been friends, even just social, with someone for over a year and then they are gone with a few hours notice. In the same few hour time frame I got notice that another friend got a great job and although still living in Vegas he too will be "gone". Compound that with Justin leaving and I'm a wreck!

Anyhow while at the Peppermill I started to talk it out with Adam.  I was telling him about the sleep issues and I think its all my emotions fighting against each other. Basically I'm having a LOT of anxiety about the move, fear of failing, excitement and lastly depression over leaving my most favorite little person in the world. I am so excited at the prospect of living on the East Coast, I am not changing my mind at all I know the East is where I want to be. I just have to come to terms with all the emotions. Turn the negative energy into the positive that is going to change my life and my future forever.

So its time to start packing...get rid of the clutter and start this journey with a fresh outlook...I'm literally diving into the emotional pool that is my life...I'll let you know when I surface.  Wish me luck!

Things are starting to move fast!

Everything happens for a reason right?  In my case some issue with my apartment have lead to some great NY developments!

My last child is moving out at the end of the month.  This means I no longer need my 2 bedroom apt!  So since I'm having a money dispute with my apt I have opt'd to break my lease (because its built into my lease that I can) pay the penalties and move in with the 'rents for a few months.  By my time line i will only be in Vegas for max 5 months anyhow.  Living with them will cut my expenses by over half!

So the new timeline....

Jan, start selling everything I can! Everything must go.  Really go through my stuff and get rid of the crap.  Move in with the 'rents in Feb.  Leave for NY in april.  Back the end of May or June.  Going away party in July or August and then an East Coast resident by Summers end!

I'm so excited and nervous all at the same time, this is really happening!  Gotta really start looking for work and a place to live, cause thats important :-)

I AM MOVING TO NEW YORK!!!

Holiday Fun

So life is moving forward, just at the slowest speed possible! Can it just be April already!!!

So what's been happening with me lately?

Work is work! I am ending out our A&R year which means I need to harass my teammates to get their stuff done by Friday.  Along with that I'm planning an onsite party with Hawaiian food (I don't eat Hawaiian Food!) & closing out my own budget.  I have 4 months of reports to catch up on and on NO TIME to do it....Yeah work is work.

The fun stuff is that if all goes as planned i will be on a plane to NY/NJ on 4/9/12!!  I am still set on the 2 months but depending on budget I might have to cut that by a few weeks, we shall see.

I'm trying to get into a project management program at work to make my resume that much better.

Now for the trouble I am been getting into!

We went to Chicago for the final Carolina Liar show w/David Cook before the baby was due and wouldn't you know it, Chad's little one couldn't wait.  About 3 hours before the show we got the announcement that the guys would not be performing.  Normally i would be bummed, but the baby was here, how amazing for Leah & Chad! So the girls and I drove around Chicago.  LOL but of course I'm like a 3y old and fell asleep in the car!

Abby came to visit! I missed her, now that we are on the same time zone 4 driving hours away we never see or talk to each other!!  However we redid Thanksgiving since last year she was so sick.  LMAO boy did we!

We hung out at Thanksgiving with family and friends.  Friday I worked for a little while and then we made the rounds.  We went to Goss with Adam & got hammered!  Lucky Abby had the hindsight to say we needed a room for the night so we cabbed it! Then we proceeded to Numb to drink some more!  The night was going great until I somehow dropped my entire purse in the toilet!  LMAO the only thing to survive was the combos!  I am down a captivate, 2 cameras & Abby's phone! Not one of my finer days and I still have no idea how the hell it even happened.  Totally put a damper on the night though.  Needless to say there was no recovering it.  Prior to leaving back to CA though we did get her a replacement phone at one of those used phone places.

Saturday once we were a bit more sober we went to the Beach Club (Aka Cafe Nikki) and had a nice peaceful lunch where Abby proceeded to try and tan.  LOL she is addicted tot he sun :-)  Prior to leaving Nick had arrived so we hung out at the bar for a bit.  Jay eventually showed up so we got to say hello.  We decided that we would come back later and go hand at the club with Nick.

Prior to getting home and changing we went to my cousins house for some family time.  I hadn't seen my cousin Danny in years so it was pretty cool to see him and just hang out with my cousins.

Anyhow we got back and changes and headed back to Tropicana. OK things start getting fuzzy again.  LOL we drank at the bar, had an incident with my kid needing money for a cab, then we went to the club, the bartender was amazing, there was dancing, drinking, and finally being driven home by a very upset friend.  Holy heck we had fun! So much so that Abby is coming back this weekend!

LOL so after all that rambling you have read its obvious nothing interesting is going on.  Life is moving at a snails pace.  My anxiety is kicked into high gear with each passing day, but one day I hope to look back on these moments and think, wow all those blogs were a pretense to the best time of my life!

How 2012 looks in my eyes

I can remember the 1st time the thought of New york popped into my head.

It was Junior High and someone asked me the question "If you could die anywhere where would it be?" I answered NYC and from that day on all i have thought about is NYC.  Life happened, kids happened, the real world barged in, but I have always wanted to live in NYC.

I can't explain why I have always had this pull to live on the East Coast, I just have this overwhelming need to be there. I have talked about it for years and years and each time my time frame gets longer and longer.  So in saying that its logical that no one believes I will really go.

This is how 2012 looks to me....whether anyone believes it or not.

Jan is CES...Let me inner geek come out to play!
Feb-Mar is pretty quiet.
Depending on strike April takes me to NY.
May I will still be in NY.
June at some point I will be back to enjoy my daughters 21st birthday.
July brings about yard sales & craig listing items.
Aug is going to be the going away party to end all parties and then I am off to the East Coast.
The rest of 2012 brings about excitement and fear of the unknown.  However its that fear that drive me forward into the unknown.

To all my friends and family who dont think I will go let alone make it, please just wish me well. You don't have to support my decision, but please support me.

I'm going to follow my dreams, how many of us go through life regretting that we didn't follow our hearts or our dreams?  I just don't want to be one of those people.

So please....wish me well.

10 Boxes

So I have decided that when I move next year all I am taking with me is 10 medium size boxes.


How do you fit 36 years of life in 10 boxes?


I look around my room and think, wow i want to take that, but then WOW do i need that?  It all has value to me but to now one else.


10 boxes...WOW!

Finding Friends

You would think in this age of social networking you could find just about anyone.  LMFAO Lord knows I'm easy to find.

I have been looking for 2 people of over 20 years now and I just can't find them.

In the 7th grade I went to camp for a week and met 2 of the most amazing people and we kept in touch for a while and then life happened.

LOL so if you happen to run across a Jon(athan) Curto or John Hayes in your passing that worked at the Wilshire Camp in So Cal around 88 or 89 give them my email will you?

OK back to life

Road Trips Rock!

Its been a few days and life and my sleep pattern are back to normal.  Meaning I'm back at work & I'm down to about 4 hours a sleep max a day...yay me!


So last Friday I headed up to Reno to catch up with one of my fav groups Carolina Liar. LOL, don't ask who they are because you already know, you just don't know you know them. Listen to this and when you mind goes "Oh Yeah" come back and read. 

Now that you are back here we go.  My work husband & his mistress came to pick me up.  I adore Jurgen & Stacy and I miss having them here in Vegas with me, they were part of my sanity here.  Anyhow we ate , hung out and just caught up on what's been going on since I was in Reno for Danielle's wedding last month.


Detour.....the wedding was amazingly beautiful! Love Danielle & Loki, here are a few pics.

OK Back to the road trip.  Checked into the hotel and then we wandered and ran into 3/4 of the Liars and the wonderful Colette.  Said some hello's and I would see them later.  


LOL at some point Val arrived w/Vodka and the rest of the night gets slightly blurry! So here is what I know.


Danielle arrived and we did another food & catch up session. We all hung out until Jurgen & Stacy left. Went to the show (still drinking) and found half the Liars, LOL! Good thing we got there early because they went on 30 mins ahead of schedule! Impromptu photo...LMAO!

We went to our seats way in the back and decided to sneak into seats way in the front! LMAO we stayed there till the evil venue guy kicked us out.  Not that it mattered my pics are a comical array of blurry shots! See..

Anyhow after the show we went and hung in the lobby.  I am sure Gavin & David are amazing musicians and they have some amazing fans, but just not my cup of tea (or alcohol) in this case.  So we kicked it in the lobby! 
After a while we went upstairs to get Rickard's 1st birthday pressie of cookies & rice crispy treats, but ended up talking to Johan, Colette & Chad instead. After forever & Danielle buying Chad a drink we grabbed the stash of yum and went back to lobby. LOL more drunken pics!

As with all shows the night comes to an end, but not before a little Liar time & Love :-)

Next Day it was up to Tahoe! I fell asleep in the car on a road & woke up in the forest! So pretty though! LOL and within an hour I had an altitude headache that I kept the next 24 hours! Such an amazing time though! We went to the beach at Camp Richardson, had some drink, Val cooked dinner, went to the casino and picked up my massive haul of chocolate from Stacy and then I slept in a Log Cabin!!

Next morning we were off to Falling Leaf Lake! We were supposed to get an early start but my lovely hostesses & host let me sleep! How amazing to wake up in fresh air and seriously in a REAL LOG CABIN! Apparently Falling Leaf is where they filmed the Bodyguard, which was pretty neat.  Johnny is a wealth of info and facts and I really enjoyed listening to everything!
So we went up to the top and everyone but Robin and I hiked down, lol we took the car! The lake was like glass up there, insane how much it looks like a postcard! All I could say was WOW!

My time in Tahoe sadly came to an end and it was back to tour. Val took me to the hubby & stacy who took me to the airport.  It was so hard not to cry when I left, I truly do love those two!


Anyhow arrived back in Vegas and jumped in the car with Lena off to San Diego.  We got there sometime around midnight to Jezzica's and spent the next few hour just talking.  The morning brought about the Winery's.  Note to self, EAT BEFORE WINE TASTING STUPID! I was pretty intoxicated so we ate over priced horrible food to soak up alcohol.  Got a case of the most amazing Champagne ever and picked up some wine for the boys as Rickards 2nd day of birthday pressies.


We started the trek down to San Diego with baby gifts & birthday gifts in hand. I immediately went into tour mode.  LOL poor Lena I don't think she was expecting my high strung stressed out mode, but it passed.  


Got to the venue and saw Armen & Mark.  Mark took the pressies to his bunk for us and we went to enjoy the show.  Bought tickets online on the way to SD and they ended up being 3rd row center! Not too bad. 


The boys once again put on an amazing show! (Not like they ever don't) and since Lena sat on my drink during the show I was pretty sober for a little bit.

After the show we once again left and had some great Liar time.  Met Leah, who is hands down adorable. Opened pressies and had some drinks before ending the night back in Temecula. Quick stop at in-n-out and after some chatter the night ended.  


Next morning was a drive back to Vegas for the night where I went stir crazy, I'm so meant to be out traveling...somewhere!


Met Melissa at the airport and we were off to LAX to catch up with the guys in Pomona!  Gotta love Mel, she backed till 4a to make Rickard homemade cupcakes for his 3rd and final birthday pressie.  Best part was they made the trip thru the airport, on the plane, to the hotel and finally to Mark's bunk on the bus.



Pomona Pomona, LOL OK all I can say about this place was MAJOR CLUSTERFUCK! It reminded me of Wilminghell with the Sticks years ago.  I wish Sean or Jason or someone would have come out and yelled or restored some kind of order, but of course nothing!


Nikki, Sue & I had the VIP package and Mel went in GA. Quick hang time w/the Liars since everything and everybody was running late.  Got to see JB! Missed him.  He did the first merch, LOL classic JB, miss seeing him in front of the lines.


Pomona was crazy! The crowd was pumped and the guys had an electrifying set! Such a good way for me to end! After the show & merch we hung out at the bar & met David Cook.  LOL since I hadn't actually watched a show it was nice to met him, he was a really nice guy.

LOL and from here the night moves fast.  Hung w/Colette for a few and said goodbye to Johan before the final merch.  He was off to NYC for the break. Helped the guys sell some Merch or pimp Rickard as it ended up being.  LOL so funny! Had a cupcake and pressie sessions and then said goodbye to the boys four or five times and the night was over with a see you next year.

Such a great ending to an amazing road trip!


Then it was 2hr of sleep, a quick plane ride back to Vegas and straight to work.  The best part was coming home to my baby.  I miss her so much when I am gone.  LOL but I didn't miss her sleeping in my bed! How can a 4y old take up sooooo much space! I love my grand baby though!


So there is where the road trip should end, but instead looks like I'll be seeing the guys one last time in Chicago for their last show.


LOL the fun never ends!

Survival vs. Selfishness

So I have just come back from the most amazing 6 days on the Road seeing one of my favorite bands Carolina Liar.


If you know me you know I adore these boys.  If you just randomly read my non-sense I met these guys when they opened for Rob Thomas just over 2 years ago. I freely admit I had no clue who they were, but like everyone else in the world I knew Show Me What I'm Looking For to be one of the most amazing songs on the radio.


Anyhow a tour and 2 years later I am honored to be able to continue see these guys and get back just as much love from them as I have for them.  I decided that I am willing to give up Sticks for Liars, a monumental thing in itself.


Anyhow I am gearing up for my "vacation" and move to the East Coast. However everyone still has mixed feelings.  As much as I love my friends they know I will leave whether they want me to or not.  However my family still has some influence.


My youngest daughter is unhappily struggling on her own having moved out not too long ago. My oldest daughter and grand daughter are happily living with me for $100 month.  LOL, KIDS!


However in the total scheme of my life Vegas is slowly becoming a toxic place for me.  I want out! In order to get out I plan to go to NYC for about 2 months and scout around. Shortly after I plan to move.  


So back to the title of this.  If I see leaving here as a survival mechanism for my happiness is it selfish that I am leaving everything I know to do it?  This includes possibly giving up my close to (not quite, but close) 6 figure salary a year job in the middle of this stupidly crazy and bad economy? 


I say no, but there are so many others that disagree.


I know that I will excel as an assistant in the industry.  I am so willing to learn that someone could pretty much create me into the perfect PA, for them. 


Its going to be hard, and I will use every contact I can just to get my foot in the door.  Then its all me.  I could excel or I could fail, but shouldn't I be allowed the chance without the criticism? 


I had my kids young.  I my no means claim to be a great or even a good mom.  However they never suffered, much to their disbelief. Now that they are grown up and ready to move on with their lives should I not be allowed to do the same?


I send this out into cyberspace knowing I'm talking to myself, but hey maybe the answer will come to me from somewhere :-)

Hitting Rock Bottom

So in my infinite plan to move forward I fell 100 stories to the bottom.  We all do things that eventually we hit the  bottom from. Its how you recover that counts.

I tread water until I was tired. I swam until I sank. I fought until my mind said I was done. I asked for help and a life preserver was thrown.

I'm now floating to the shore and it feel so good.  By next week all the bad will be over and I can start looking forward at the next life I am creating for myself.

My future is finally looking up.  I'm 36 and about to embark on the best years of my life.  Where it will take me I have no idea, but you know what, I'm up for the challenge.

I have raised my family to the best of my ability and its time to set them free to fly or try.  Will they follow me? Maybe, time will tell.  I hope they will stand on their own feet, but sometime you have to crawl again to walk.

I love my sister endlessly for everything she does, has done and continues to do for me.  She may not always approve, but she wants me to be happy.

Its time to put myself out there.  I have less than 4 months before I can happily leave my current job and embark on this new journey.

Wish me luck, because I broke everything in my dropping to the bottom.  Now is the time to pick myself up and climb like I never have before!

Clarity & Lack of Sleep...UHG they don't mesh well in my life!

It is 2:12a and I can not sleep!


Took a nap before Hawaii 5-0 because I was so tired and now I'm fucked! I need to be up in a few hours.


So I was re-reading my blog, because sometimes I need to remember what I ramble about.


Part of getting my shit together is trying to clear the Karma I have brought upon myself or others on me.


I did one thing in my life that I can say was truly a terrible thing.  Nothing extremely bad, I just went along with something and a few people got hurt along the way. One most likely still suffers from the effect even though she was so young at the time.


So I'm going to do something I NEVER do! I am going to make amends with a few people.  Not that we will ever be friends or even have a "Family" relationship again, but at least that starts to release some of the negative energy on my Karma.


Now in saying that some things, like trying to get me fired to better your own career, are completely unforgivable, as far as I am concerned that person, well lets just say I don't care. However being the stubborn person I am I need to let some thing go.  I am determined to have people in my life I love and get rid of those that make me want to kill someone!


So time to shake some bad Karma....OH this is gonna be hard! No time like the present right!


If this is what 36 brings, come on 37!

I fell the need to blog, but nothing come to mind to blog about.

I can say what I want to do over and over again and if the universe is listening it will happen. Gonna start reading some books on the industry.  You can't learn how to be a PA, but you can learn what the person you want to be working for does.

Had a huge argument with my youngest child today on paying bills. It is what it is, she is going to learn the hard way.

I have always said I would blog to just get my feelings out, but i find that hard to do.  Im going to set a reminder to remember at least once a week so I can keep this current.

Its going to be my journal to success, or maybe failure, we will see!!!

Depression & Me

Most likely not the best thing to talk about when I desperately want to change careers, but hey this is my blog I can say what I want!


I have suffered with Depression for years.  I was on meds & in therapy for a long time, but me being me I stopped therapy and I just wont take the meds.  I'm convinced I can control it myself.


One of my biggest issues was always that the issues with my kids were because of me.  I am the only common denominator between them, well that and I managed to pro-create with 2 of the most lying useless people in my world. They both have a form of ADD/ADHD & one is bi-polar & has ODD. So for 2 kids to both have issues like that its got to be something in the genes rights? Who's genes do they both carry? Me! That was something my therapist was never able to work out of my head.  That and after 2 years she only saw one break through with me...so I left! So my solution, I just wont have any more kids.  I have gone to great lengths to make sure it stays that way too. Hence why I enjoy being single.


However I can literally feel my body sliding down the dark hole of despair as I call it. When it happens nothing and no one can fix me, only I can slide down and find the light hidden somewhere in my world.


Why bring this up?  I was talking to a good friend over "Slice" this morning and she said that last Christmas I was off the radar for 6 days.  No social networking no texting, email or phone calls.   That kind of shocked me because I dont remember that at all! Normally I can tell you exactly when that was, kind of scary actually.


SO I said I was going to reread some stuff and see what was going on.  I cant find anything.  I see a trip to NY and I am always sad when i have to come back, that is getting worse.  I cried leaving NY last trip.  Although that was quickly removed by anger from the hellish 20 hour trip I had getting home.


To sum this all up.  If I fall off the grid, I'm not lost, just taking a break.  I still see everything that goes on, I just might not mentally be up to talking. All the love that is sent to me helps me find the light that will guide me back to sanity. Is it smart to not medicate, I think so, because on the meds I dont like the person I become.


I'm in a semi happy place.  I have a goal, I have a direction and I can see myself where I want to be doing want I want to do.  The obstacles to get me there are what hurts me the most, because they are obstacle I put there, I just didnt know it at the time.


To the people that know me, not the social networking Googleable me, none of this is new to you.   You have experienced it before, even if you didn't know it.  LOL you are now having an "AHHHH" moment.  To those that only know me from the above, well when I'm offline for a while, dont worry I will be back to ramble some more.

My outlook on 36

So I turned 36...blah! Another birthday, another Tuesday...how...BLAH!


On the plus side I feel big changes coming.


I have some serious financial issues that have to get sorted...but i still feel its all recoverable.


I can visualize myself in another place being happy finally.


Of course that visualization takes me to the East Coast.  Very few people are thrilled about it and even less believe I will do it. My question is simply Why Not?


I am at the perfect point in my life where I can change careers.  My daughters & grand daughter, although I love them endlessly, really dont need me any more.  Once kid moved out and the other is just buying time to get on her feet.


I am no longer happy in Vegas, I'm just going through the motions of the day to day things.


I know what I want to do.  I want to get to the other side of the rope.  However I have no experience other than being a friend and a fan.  I dont have a degree, I dont have a pieve of paper that says I know something I will never use.  What I do have is ambition and drive and a passion.  I know I will make some unsuspecting person an amazing assistant.  I'm a control freak, i need things to be done my way, there is no other way. I have 12 years of telecommunications experience and a total of 6 years of management experience.


I need that one lucky break and I am good.


Good things are going to happen in the next 12 months, just wait and see!


I wasnt a Steve Jobs fan & I am sorry he passed.  However I did learn that one person can have a massive impact on large numbers of people. Sometimes you can have more and love and respect in your life than you can ever imagine or know. Thanx Steve for showing me that Dreams are possible, and then some.


On the plus side my Carolina Liar boys are hitting the road! These guys deserve all the success they can image! I get to see them in 15 days....WOOHOO!


Ok to bed now!

Carolina Liar is BACK!!!

I sit here typing 37 hours after I left my house to go to LA to see Carolina Liar.  The drive down was pretty uneventful...well except for what the gummies were doing on the dashboard, but thats a different posting.
Speaking of Gummies, Melissa and I stopped at the Alien Jerky place to get some stuff for a friend and decided to get some Sugar Free Gummies for the ride....BIG MISTAKE!!! Unbeknownst to us those gummies have something in them that resembles a laxative and you are only supposed to eat a few at a time.  The rest of the night was event and painful!

Anyhow once we checked into our hotel and changed we drove over to the venue.  I think LA should have Carmeggedon evey weekend I am in town....traffic was great!  LOL there was barely any!!!

So from here is just a series of being in the right place a the right time. We entered the Curious George lot (thanx!) and almost parked really far away from the elevator.  However we opt'd to drive around some more and got primo parking right by the elevator.  I was telling Melissa that we should be able to walk down the stairs but we opt'd to stay and wait for the elevator.

The doors open and guess who walks out? The CL boys! That made the whole trip worth it!  We got hugs and we were just so happy to see them...we knew that the rest of the night was gonna be great :-)

We went down to check out the venue and then opt's to eat at Hard Rock. Lunch went well, the gummies were still attacking, and then we went to the fence.  The front was already full, but we hoped that some people would leave after the first band.

OK the first band was so NOT my type of live music.  I'm sure that all the people that were their for them really enjoyed it, but um yeah...we didn't...so let's fast forward to the guys.

There was some technical difficulties and the guys got a late start, but they were amazing! I missed seeing them do what they love, and I love what they do.  I'm so excited for the new songs! Drown live was all I thought it would be. Chad can work a crowd and get them going no matter if you love CL or have no clue who they are.  That's the one thing I remember about when i first saw them a few years ago.  Anyone that can get a crowd on their feet like him deserves to be on a stage.

I know they had a curfew, but they rocked as many songs as they could in the time they had and they had fun.  Hell we had fun!

Got to spend some time with the guys after the show...they have a lot of stuff planned and I plan to follow them every step of the way.  If you have read through this whole posting and still have no clue who I am talking about you need to go to the Carolina Liar web site and sign up.  Listen to the guys music and enjoy the musical ride!