Survival vs. Selfishness

So I have just come back from the most amazing 6 days on the Road seeing one of my favorite bands Carolina Liar.


If you know me you know I adore these boys.  If you just randomly read my non-sense I met these guys when they opened for Rob Thomas just over 2 years ago. I freely admit I had no clue who they were, but like everyone else in the world I knew Show Me What I'm Looking For to be one of the most amazing songs on the radio.


Anyhow a tour and 2 years later I am honored to be able to continue see these guys and get back just as much love from them as I have for them.  I decided that I am willing to give up Sticks for Liars, a monumental thing in itself.


Anyhow I am gearing up for my "vacation" and move to the East Coast. However everyone still has mixed feelings.  As much as I love my friends they know I will leave whether they want me to or not.  However my family still has some influence.


My youngest daughter is unhappily struggling on her own having moved out not too long ago. My oldest daughter and grand daughter are happily living with me for $100 month.  LOL, KIDS!


However in the total scheme of my life Vegas is slowly becoming a toxic place for me.  I want out! In order to get out I plan to go to NYC for about 2 months and scout around. Shortly after I plan to move.  


So back to the title of this.  If I see leaving here as a survival mechanism for my happiness is it selfish that I am leaving everything I know to do it?  This includes possibly giving up my close to (not quite, but close) 6 figure salary a year job in the middle of this stupidly crazy and bad economy? 


I say no, but there are so many others that disagree.


I know that I will excel as an assistant in the industry.  I am so willing to learn that someone could pretty much create me into the perfect PA, for them. 


Its going to be hard, and I will use every contact I can just to get my foot in the door.  Then its all me.  I could excel or I could fail, but shouldn't I be allowed the chance without the criticism? 


I had my kids young.  I my no means claim to be a great or even a good mom.  However they never suffered, much to their disbelief. Now that they are grown up and ready to move on with their lives should I not be allowed to do the same?


I send this out into cyberspace knowing I'm talking to myself, but hey maybe the answer will come to me from somewhere :-)